Stand By Me: Friendship, Adulthood, and Uncertainties.
Stand by Me is one of the old movies I found this year that I love and rewatched a couple of times. Based on the novella “The Body” by Stephen King, it tells the story of friendship and coming-of-age better than other movies like 3 idiots, Good Will Hunting, The Perks of being a wallflower and others. And every single time Ben E. King’s classic tune with the same title comes up during the end credits, I tear up.
Spoilers ahead. You are already here though, so you might as well, carry on. 😁
Gordie (aged 12) has lost his older brother to an accident and several months later, his parents have still not moved on. His friends also have similar problems individually, so when they first set out to find the body of the missing guy in their town hoping they become “heroes”, the boys are excited about their trip. The group’s teasing, laughing and singing as characteristic of boys their age and their friendship help them deal with such a dangerous mission.
We’re adults now
In all the popular sitcoms, the friends reach a stage where their relationships grow apart. (Sorry if you’ve not watched ‘How I met Your Mother’ and Friends) Marshall and Lily had a baby and their friendship with Ted and Barney died. When Chandler marries Monica and gets transferred to Tulsa, same. If the regular meetings at that bar or café down the apartment are not realistic, this part of the sitcom is.
“As time went on, we saw less and less of Teddy and Vern until eventually, they became just two more faces in the halls. That happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant.” — Gordie
Some friendships just grow apart, and that’s ok. Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. They do their part in making a presence in your life with some impact. Back in High School, when I didn’t have my shit together, Sebastian was there. We drifted after, but I won’t ever forget his presence in my life.
“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?” — Gordie
Gordie didn’t tell a lie. I cherish my new friends but I don’t even get the chance to have fun with them. Half the time we’re laughing over terrible things that adulthood has thrown at us. We have jobs now. We’re no more kids and we can’t hang out at the school playground after school every day of the week. Sad but you’ve got to keep up.
Oh, and by the way, You know that whole thing people say a lot like “Nobody owes you a thing”? Yeah? Well, it’s bullshit. You should be accountable to your friends, and your friends should be accountable to you. This is exactly why you, AN ADULT, should let go of one-sided unproductive friendships.
Death and Uncertainties
Most emphatic of all the underlying themes in there must be a sense of loss. Be it death or losing your parents to grief or alcohol, Stephen King reminds you over and over again that no matter who you are, an L isn’t exactly far from you.
The heart-racing bridge scene where Gordie saves his friend from death by pushing him over the rails before the train runs them over reminds me of when myself and two friends almost drowned in a river after Boys Brigade rehearsals. That was the first scariest moment in my childhood where I couldn’t count on my parents to save me because they were not even around; I was with my then two best friends. This memory still hurts when I think about the fact that I lost one of those two friends almost 2 years after to death. Or, the fact that the actor who plays Chris died 7 years after this movie at 23.
Each character has to face their fears and uncertainty about the future, just like in real life. And when Gordie pulls a gun on Ace (the leader of the other gang) and tells him to “suck my fat one, you cheap dime-store hood”, the boys are so proud of their new “leader”. This fear is what gets me to celebrate my friends’ successes and be proud of them. New job? I’m happy for you. Secured a new house? Let’s celebrate. And same uncertainty hurts very much when a friend with much potential falls off the path to glory.
If we do not get the chance to celebrate in the longterm like Phunsukh Wangdu and his 2 other idiots, at least we should return from our journeys through the forests and looking death in the face, stronger, tired but quietly victorious like Gordie, Chris, Vern, and Teddy.
Check out my review of Barton Fink here:
